So to be different I chose Dumb Blonde.
(you know we really arent' dumb it is something that someone who was jealous of blondes made up).
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
Tell them a joke on Friday night !
What did the blonde do when she got her period?
Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
How does a blonde get pregnant?
And I thought blondes were dumb!
A blonde walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over." The doctor is really confused. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over?" The blonde says, "I'll show you."She then touches herself on her leg. "OW!!! I hurt there." Then she touches her earlobe. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!" Then she touches her hair. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min. Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?" The blonde says "Yes, why?"
The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger..."
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee
of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies......................"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Finally, a smart blonde.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00
bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.


I love the jokes and can't wait to share them with my blond daughter, who is way smarter than her mama!
ReplyDeleteIt's been fun being blonde, well it was when I was younger. There was a time that people always thought I was younger or didn't take me serious because of being blonde and short.
DeleteArgh!!! Lol I have to admit I was thinking which.... Ahem... Act we were referring to when the blond's belly button was sore!
ReplyDeleteDon't ask please !!!!
Well now you have to tell. That one was too funny to pass up
DeleteI especially loved the one about telling a joke on Friday night that will make a blonde laugh on Monday morning. Ahem, that's me. I'm soooo slow at getting punch lines. My kids think I'm totally hilarious when I just give them a big eyed blink with my head cocked to one side, lol.
ReplyDeleteThat is so me too. But sometimes I do it on purpose and try to see them explain the joke to me. Now that is funny
DeleteAll great, and I've heard lots of them before but that doesn't mean they are still not great. I know blondes are not dumb. Both Ray and my daughter are naturals blondes.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea where that thought came from. I really have never met a true blonde that was dumb.
DeleteLOL Blondie...I have heard most of these and published one or two but they are still funny every time I read them. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
You have all the best funny stuff in your blog posts. Every time I read your blog, I end up laughing the rest of the day
DeleteBlondie,
ReplyDeleteGreat D post. Still makes me laugh when I read these jokes. Thanks.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thanks Ronnie, I like the blonde on the plane one best
DeleteI know this woman....she is Blond(ie) and there are a LOT of D words to describe her....Daring, Darling, Delightful, Delicious ( um according to her husband), Determined, Devoted, Dedicated, Disciplined...but DUMB? Hmmm....well maybe when she is DEFIANT and Difficult !
ReplyDeletelove
willie
Can't imagine who you could possibly know that would fit all of your d words. Love ya
DeleteLOL Thanks for the laugh this morning! I am enjoying the blog hop, thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Cole. I really love your blog and if I write too much in my comment, let me know
Delete