Birthday Story

Guess what I am getting for my birthday? Some of you may already know, though you may not believe me and I will have to post a picture. LOL Is the suspense killing you.....

I am getting a tattoo!

Sounds so much like taking a walk on the wild side. It's so exciting.

Well if I was really going to take a walk on the wild side, I would probably get a tattoo that looks like this:

But where would I put this?

  

Even though I have thought about a tattoo for awhile and looked at tons of them, this post really isn't all about tattoos. Neither is it all about my birthday. It is kind of a story

Shall we begin:

Once upon a time, a long time ago in about 1966, a young sixteen year old girl, who was pregnant, decided to put her baby up for adoption. Her mom had taken her to a small town, where no one knew her. They worked with lawyers to prepare the adoption. When the young girl went into labor, the family, that was adopting the baby, was called. They were there at the hospital when the little baby girl was born.

The adopted family wanted another child so much. They already had a boy and a girl, so it didn't matter what gender the new baby was going to be. So on December 19th, a little baby girl came into the world, leaving the one home and mother she knew and delivered to one of the best families a child could ever want. A new mom, dad brother and sister, plus the grandparents, aunts and uncles.

You have probably guessed that I am the baby. And usually the next question that is asked is if I ever wanted to or have found my real mother. If asked that way, you will get my feathers ruffled. I know where my real mother is and always have. Now my biological mom, that is a different story.

So where shall I start. In my twenties, my mom and I searched and searched for mbm (my bio mom). We were able to get lots of leads, but everything came to a dead end. We knew she was originally from Canada, though she was living in the US at the time. We figured, she was 16, probably never told anyone and covered her tracks really well. And you wonder, if I force myself onto her how bad would I be hurting her or hurting myself.

My thirties were so filled with babies and raising kids that my "mbm" search was put on the back burner. Later on, as my kids got older, as did I, I wondered about all the medical stuff it would have been nice to know.

Then two things happened.

One our family started having facebook. I was so reluctant but to see some pictures from a family event, one had to be a fb member to log in. So I finally joined. My page was about as boring as one could have. Amazingly enough, through FB, a large group of people I went to high school with "friended" me. And since our 25th high school reunion was the following summer, this was perfect. I was able to find about 87 out of about 200 of my classmates. We moved everything to email afterwards and eventually had a very successful reunion. Yay FB. From then on, my FB use was very limited. If I got an email notice that someone had written something to me, I would sign on. And usually it was my daughter sending some silly little message.

The second thing that happened was that my husband and his mother had begun working on Ancestry.com. They were addicted. They would be talking on the phone while adding things to their sight. They were making connections and adding pictures. It has been an awesome experience for him and now he is hooked.

So here we were one day. B was working on his ancestry and I was checking out my FB. He says to me, what was your bio mother's name again? So I got up and got out the file we had. I was going through it and it kind of peaked my interest. I told him the name and then went back to my computer.

I typed in the name on FB and boom, there was a name and a picture that looked like me! Yes I was in a state of shock. I played around a little bit to see if there was any information but it looked like this person had just joined also.

I finally called my husband over, "look" I said. He was going to take on the safe side approach. Well that could be her, she looks like you, but don't get your hopes up. Okay, so now what do I do.

When my oldest son got home, I was like "come here, I want to show you something". So I opened up my FB, typed in the name and there she was again. And she had added her birthplace to Victoria, BC. Coincidence? My son said "Is that your bio mom?" I told him I wasn't sure, maybe. He thought that was cool and went on his way.

Okay, I have to admit out loud, I am very impulsive. So instead of sleeping on it and trying to figure out my next move, I sent her a private message via FB. I asked her if December 19th meant anything to her. (Yes my husband thought I was crazy)

She replied back that she was curious about why I was asking and what brought me to her. Hmmm, okay she didn't say no at least. Plus she also gave me an email address.

I replied by giving her all of the information that we had on her and the birth and all of that. And then we waited, and waited. I tried to think of other things, but it wasn't easy. So, I am down at the club, the kids are swimming, and I get a call from my husband. He says that she wrote back. I asked him, what did she say. He tells me he didn't read it but I need to come home now and look. So I asked some friends to keep an eye on my little ones while I ran home for a little bit. And this is what she wrote:

Dear B,

This is a difficult letter to begin. Only because even though I have thought of this day many times I still do not know the right words. From all the information you have I am sure I am who you are looking for. I do not know how much or how little you want to know.

So I will begin with just a few words. I have always thought of you and prayed that you were loved beyond reason. For many years I stared at babies and little blond girls...always wondering. I was madly crazy about your bio father. He was older, drove a 57 Chevy that he continually worked on with his Dad and he was considered to be a bit on the wild side. When I realized I was pregnant I ended our relationship. I am not sure why I did. He called and his Mom called for quite awhile until I moved away. I will always feel sad for depriving them of someone that could have been so very special in their lives.

I was able to look at some pictures through your husbands FaceBook profile. You are so beautiful and have a beautiful family.

It seems this letter is as difficult to end as it was to start. I have any medical and family information  you would like. Just let me know.

C

I was looking around and I found a symbol for adoption. A "Triangle of Love" is a touching symbol of adoption. A triangle intertwined with a heart symbolizes those involved in the adoption experience. The triangle is a symbol of the 3 sides of adoption; the birth mother, the adopted mother and the adoptee. And the intertwining heart symbolizes the love that is involved - many hearts beat as one.

This is the tattoo that I am going to get. I plan on getting it over my heart. Though I think that my tattoo will look more like this one with some color in it. That is my plan and my husband really likes the idea. I am going to tell both my mom and C (mbm) about it. And I hope that they both know that this is a symbol of my love for them.

What else can I say?