As many of my followers might know, I suffer from depression. With the recent suicide of Robin Williams there is a lot of hope and encouragement for others that suffer from depression.
Every article that I read there is a blurb at the bottom encouraging people to seek out and call the National Hot Line for Suicide. People are speaking about "people they know" that suffer from depression.
People are telling others that "you are not alone" in your battle.And then there are some, people like me who just shake their heads and know that one with depression, especially when suicidal, do not think about making phone calls or reaching out. They feel alone no matter how many people care and want to help.
Now don't get me wrong, the suicide hotline is one of the best things offered to those who are considering suicide and need someone to speak with. This service has helped many, many people. So many that I don't know if there is even a number that is accurate enough to make a guess at the millions of people helped.
Most people with depression, and myself included, seek help from professionals. Medicine is a great band aid to help with the overwhelming feelings that come with depression. Like Robin Williams, most people who are considering suicide reach out for help. Some may call the hotline, some may enter into a hospital or care center that can help them, and some may make small attempts at with suicide so as to let others know they need help.
I truly believe, that if I was at the point in my life where I was so overwhelmed with my depression, and possibly other mental conditions or diseases, then I would commit suicide and no one would be able to stop me. This mental illness is so big and hurts so bad that you are unable to hear the words of love and support from others. Robin Williams had it all but it wasn't enough. I have felt that. I couldn't understand why I had these feelings of mass depression when everything in my life was really good. None of it made sense. I really didn't want to leave my children. I knew that I would scar them for life if I did take my own life. I knew that they needed me and I was able to think clearly enough to fight the depression. That doesn't mean that it still doesn't cross my mind. I will at times not drive without a child in the car so I can't do anything to end my life. I could not hurt my child. I was not at the point in my depression that it ever got too much. But if the medicine didn't help, I couldn't hear or care what others or saying or feeling, I would be able to end my life. And nobody could stop me. 
There is no notes, no talk, and no real signs that someone gives if dying is their only option to stop the pain.
When people die of cancer or other diseases that leave them crippled or in constant agony, their death is thought of as a not so bad thing because they are out of pain. This person is in Heaven
where there is only good. That is how I would look at someone if they committed suicide because they could no longer handle the pain of depression or other mental problems. The pain is mental and physical. It hurts every part of your body. And when something, like Parkinsons, is added to the mix, the need to give up may be the final straw
If you have never suffered this overwhelming depression, I don't think that you could fully understand what one is feeling who does suffer. I did a post on depression before, you can read it here
Sometimes You Have to Pretend that Everything is Okay on 12/01/2013.
I hope that no one judges Robin Williams' decision or try to make sense of it. It isn't you feeling that overwhelming pain. I cannot believe that God is not welcoming him home. God Bless Robin Williams. May he rest in peace. And I pray Robin Williams is remembered for what he gave the his family and the world over. His great acting and the way he made us laugh is how he should be remembered. And as he said, his greatest accomplishments were his children, so please pray for his family.
Thank you so much for this post, Blondie. It was perfectly timed.
ReplyDeleteBe loved,
Annie B
Thank you Annie. I appreciate your positive response, And thanks for stopping by and commenting
DeleteI think you are very courageous my friend.
ReplyDeleteAs you know I have a family member who suffers from depression, and actually a condition that further leaves her in great pain. Like you said, I can't fully understand the depths of her depression, but what I do know is that she isn't 'sad'. Outwardly she is the most upbeat person I know, The most positive. If feeling and thinking positive thoughts were a 'cure' she would have been cured years ago. What I can offer is an open mind and an ear.
Robin Williams has lots of wonderful quotes. One I remembered from years ago was along the lines of this, " there is nothing worse than being in a room full of people and feeling utterly alone" . I cannot fathom the type of pain that comes with that awareness.
Thank you for sharing unedited you.
My love always,
willie
You are a very dear friend and I appreciate your kind words and support. I always blame it on being a politicians daughter that I always have a big smile on my face and can say a friendly hello whenever I am in public even when I can barely find the energy to get out of bed.
DeleteThe pain/depression associated with the diagnosis of a progressive disease (like Parkinson's) is often too much to handle for many who never even suffered from depression in the past. But, to add active depression on with that....heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty in sharing all you are- is so very refreshing B. Thank you!
XOXO Pearl
Thank you so much for your kind words. My name (well not Blondie) means little truthful one. So if you ever want to know the blunt honest truth you can count on me. I am pretty outspoken too, good thing Ty is quiet and only speaks when he has something really important to say. We balance each other out. I cannot fathom the desperation that Robin Williams felt. He battled for a very long time and that is what I will be proud of when I think of his accomplishments.
DeleteI have a daughter who struggles with bipolar. The lows were so low that catatonia was close. It is heart wrenching to watch. You are so honest in what you share, and it is good to see.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dana. I am so sorry. I think that, as a mother, watching your child suffer and knowing that there is really nothing you can do, is probably almost as horrible as it can get. I have spoken a little about my daughter and some of her sufferings, it just makes me sick when I realize that I can only do so much. Bipolar is a mental illness that is till only whispered about. I hope that there will be more information that comes out about bipolar so everyone else can have a better understanding of it.
DeleteI am only really honest about my depression and other personal things here on my blog. I lost a friend when I shared some things about my depression. She just told me that she couldn't handle this and just couldn't be friends. We had been friends for ten years and she was my closest friend. I now keep all my family's personal life personal. So I so appreciate being able to share things on my blog. Everyone is so supportive. I wish that people who I know and see everyday were more accepting.
Thank you for sharing about your daughter. I will pray for you and for her. From one mom to another - I am here to vent to when things get overwhelming and you just want to cry and scream. Please know that she does feel your love even when she doesn't show it. You are a great mom.
Thank you for an honest and encouraging post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the positive words. I was very worried about this post. I was afraid that I might offend people. So I really appreciate your comment
DeleteThis was wonderful. Thank you for opening up like this and I wish you so much joy. I know that might sound silly, but I mean it. My uncle committed suicide and I often wonder if he really knew JOY. I hope your comforted by the knowledge we are cheering you on in your fight to find sunlight and happiness...even in your darkest moments.
ReplyDeleteWith love
M.
For some reason, your comment really hit a nerve. I had to stop reading and take a deep breath. I know that I haven't felt real joy in a very long time. But I do remember what it feels like and I pray that I will someday have the ability to feel like that again. Thank you for your sharing and for your words of encouragement. Sunlight and happiness are two of my greatest goals.
DeleteBeautiful post Blondie! I am so sorry you suffer from this insidious disease. The frustrating thing about any type of mental illness is that people can't 'see' it. There is also a huge difference between those who feel suicidal sometime in their lifetime and those who are suffering from the horrible pain of depression. Robin Williams' daughter stated it very well "While Ill never, ever understand how he could be loved so deeply and not find it in his heart to stay..." If there is ever anything I can do to help you through, please don't hesitate to let me know. Sending lots of prayers and healing energy.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
Honestly Cat, there are already a lot of things that you do that help me. I know that you are a friend and that you have my back. And believe it or not, your blog always makes me laugh. You don't even know how refreshing it is to be able to giggle at something silly. Thank you for all that you are and do
DeleteBlondie, what a heartwrenching post. You are right those of us who don't suffer from the disease cannot understand how devastating it is. Not only that, but those suffering usually mask it so well that the majority of us never even know. I hope this post opens some eyes and that someone along the way benefits from your advice.
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers for the strength to go forward each and every day.
Thank you so much for your kind words. This is why DD works for us. I need a reason, some days, to get out of bed. And there are times when I really need someone to lead and to hold my hand so I don't go back to bed. But if you saw me in public, I doubt you would see my pain and no one would ever believe that Ty and I have this type of marriage. We are full of secrets in our daily life. This blog is so helpful for me and having friends like you, that I count on for being honest, I feel very lucky.
DeleteI have a young family member who suffers from such severe depression and anxiety... It is devastating to watch them in so much pain and not be able to help. I wish so much...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. If I could share one piece of advice..... never quit trying. Talk to that person, share that you aren't judging them and that they are safe when being who they are around you. Don't say that you know how they are feeling but let them know that you would like to have them share their ups and downs and their worries. Make them feel safe and not judged. Besides that, keep praying. I pray for you family member and I hope that he/she finds the right medicine and counseling that they can feel good.
DeleteBlondie, Thank you. It helps to hear what you say and the advice is what I believe. However at times you question your ability to help.
DeleteI am one of the few people this person has on a list to call for help when struggling. I try so hard to hear what she needs, and listen. Most of the time I can offer temporary respite from the anxiety and pain, just by being there.
Thank you for sharing your insights here and in the earlier post I went back to read. They help me understand this situation as well as the suicide of a co-worker.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have the support of Ty and your kids. Sending you good wishes and hugs.
Meg thank you for your kind words. And thank you for taking the time to read both posts. I am so sorry about your co-worker. Knowing someone personally that commits suicide had got to be devastating. Yes, I am fortunate for Ty and my kids. Fortunately (and unfortunately) the kids behave like normal teenagers and drive us crazy. I hope that they will always be understanding to others.
DeleteThank you for being so open about this. Hearing about Robin Williams brought back a lot of memories for my family. My brother committed suicide 13 years ago. On the outside he seemed like such a happy person. His family and friends loved him. When we had family get togethers we all joined around him because he had us all laughing with his funny stories. We didn't see the signs of depression so it was a complete shock to all of us. To this day we talk about it like it was yesterday. I feel so bad that he didn't reach out to us and it makes me very sad. I had heard we would go through a stage where we were angry with him. I never experienced that stage. I just felt bad that he felt like he reached a point that there was nothing else he could do.
ReplyDeleteRobin William's family will need everyone's prayers. They will have some very difficult and challenging days ahead of them. Amyee
Amyee, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Even knowing the history of someone, it still really hurts and hard to make sense of. Prayers for Robin Williams' family is hopefully being said by everyone, they need that support - I agree with you. Your brother sounds like a wonderful person. I am glad that you have the good memories of him. He sounds like the kind of guy that I would like to have known. It is so hard to know what someone is feeling in the inside, especially if they don't tell you. Thank you for sharing, I know that I am praying for you
DeleteThanks, Blondie for this blog post ..
ReplyDeleteI am convinced that Robin William has found love again and feel this love in heaven. Because I absolutely believe he is in heaven.
I hope it will relieve the pain he left after his death.
Hugs,
Mona Lisa
Mona Lisa, thank you! I second your opinion! I am also convinced that he is heaven where life is good.
DeleteBlondie,
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post, so honest and heartwrenching. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Until you have lived with depression or know someone who has it you have no right to judge.
Love and hugs,
Ronnie
xx
Ronnie, thank you for your kind words. You are absolutely right, do not judge others.
DeleteThank for sharing this post with us. I think suicide has probably touched most of our lives, and you have helped bring some understanding. You are brave and strong...
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Abby, thank you for your kind words. I hope that what I wrote didn't offend anyone and if one person benefited from it, them I am glad that I was my usual blunt self. I don' feel brave or strong, so I am really encouraged when you say that I am. Thanks
DeleteThank you so much for sharing this and for being so open and honest and for your insight.
ReplyDeleteMy Mother has battled depression most of her adult life. It is devastating to see the pain and to feel unable to help. Uness you suffer yourself it is difficult to understand the depth if pain.
Hugs
Roz
Roz, I am so sorry about your mom. There is nothing worse than watching someone you love suffer. I will be praying for you and your mom. Hugs
DeleteWow, Blondie. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. People who don't live with depression have a hard time understanding the depth of these feelings. It's not a matter of dragging one out of the house and cheering them up. I know you know you're not alone in these feelings, just most aren't brave enough to admit. And so in the spirit of honesty, I doubt I'd be here if it weren't for my need to protect people around me from the scars of me making such an awful decision. Would I ever do it? No, but the thought comes into my mind more often than I'd care to admit.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing and for being so honest. It makes me so angry to have depression and not being able to just feel happy. I am so sorry that you understand where I am coming from and know how I feel. I wouldn't wish depression on anyone. I will be praying for you and know that I am only an email away if you ever want to just vent.
DeleteThank you for sharing Blondie, it is so sad that there is such a stigma around depression and other mental illness that cause an already dibilitating condition to be so much worse due to isolation & shame in many cases. When I was a kid a much older cousin took his own life due to depression and I remember how everyone talked about it in hushed tones and there was a lot of abrupt ending of conversations whenever certain people would walk into a room. He had suffered for years but no one knew until after his death, it was all kept a secret because of the shame factor until there was no way to his it any longer. There has been a growing awareness in our society about depression and mental illness and there have been some great steps taken to try to help remove that stigma, but we still have a ways to go. So again, thank you for sharing your struggle as well as your insite on this topic & the tragedy of Robin William's death.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Scarlet ; )
Scarlet, you hit the nail on the head. Mental illness is a stigma and most people are embarrassed to share how they are suffering. Society is learning more but there is still that uneasy feeling people have when they think about it or know someone who is suffering. I hope that nobody was offended by my post but I had to say what I said. Thank you for sharing and for your kind words
DeleteHugs. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. Your hug is felt and appreciated
DeleteI could never understand depression or anxiety. I didn't really understand why you couldn't just pull yourself up and get over it. I'm watching my sister go through it, and while see's doing good now, it's heartbreaking to watch her struggle at times. I've lost a couple friends to suicide due to their struggles with PTSD, I feel like I tried to say all the right things, and they tried to get help, but it's like they never found peace. I really hope they have found that peace now.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you struggle with this disease, It's not fair. I'm glad you have your family as support, and I'm so glad that you have your blog because we're all here for you too!!
Hugs!!
Jennelle, I am so sorry about your sister. It isn't fair and I get so mad that we have to have this illness. Your sister appreciates your concern. Just make her feel safe to share and not be judged. If she can be herself around you and not feel like she has to put on a show, that is the biggest way to help her. Don't try to fix her just listen and hug. PTSD is a very misunderstood illness. A lot of people don't believe it is even real. I hope that there is more information shared so more people can understand how terrible it is.
DeleteI am praying for you and your sister. Hugs
Blondie, :) Thank you for posting such an honest and heartfelt and important post. I am sending the biggest of hugs to you. I am sorry that depression is something that you are having to live with. It sounds like you handle it with grace and strength, and that the love that you have for your family helps you, along with the meds. I hope that you know that we are all here for you. Any time. And that we mean it.
ReplyDeleteWhile depression is not something that I struggle with currently, I did have a bout of postpartum depression, years ago, following the birth of our second child, and first daughter. I remember it feeling like a black curtain had descended upon me. I can almost pinpoint the moment when I lay in my hospital bed, in what should have been one of the happiest moments in my life- a daughter that I was so excited to have. It was completely awful because I knew that I should have been feeling such joy, and I wanted to. My depression then took the form of anxiety and panic attacks. I recognized the change right away and with treatment- meds and psychologist, I learned how to deal with the anxiety and eventually got off the meds. We had lots of support from our families. Rob and I wanted more kids and I was scared that it would happen again. It had been so very painful. But my psychologist convinced me to go ahead and we had our wonderful 3rd and 4th kids. And it was okay. I had a plan in place just in case, and support around those events. So I know what it is like. And I give you SO much credit for your strength. I am so very glad that you are doing well on the meds now. You are in my prayers, Blondie.
More to now, our younger son struggles with major anxiety, some depression and addiction. I have seen the struggles that he has had in the past- to stay on meds, to even get med prescriptions filled, and right now, things are going really well for him. He has made so much progress, and we are so very proud of him. We know that it will be something that he will need to deal with for life. He knows how loved he is, and supported. I will always hope that it is enough. He told me the other day, "Mom I wondered if you would be worried because of the Robin Williams death. I'm happy. I love it here. Don't worry. I love you." And you know, I'm his mom. I love him and I will always worry just a little bit. He has been in recovery now for almost five months. It is more than a blessing!
The world lost a wonderful man who gave so much joy. I hope that the awareness that comes from it all can leave us with more research, better meds, better help for all who suffer. Mostly I think about something that my son said to me about what he has learned to do before making a choice to go back to drugs, and in this case can be applied to suicide, as initially in his crisis his guilt found him wanting to end his life. He told me, "I learned to say to myself, 'Not today. Tomorrow.' And the next day if I need to, I'll tell myself the same thing. Tomorrow. One day at a time." Stay strong Blondie! We are here for you. You are loved! Thanks for sharing so much important stuff with all of us. Many hugs,
<3 Katie
Katie, thank you so much for sharing. My depression got kick started when I suffered post-partum with my fourth child. I never will understand that sadness that we both shared. I would be so mad at myself for not being able to enjoy this little blessing. I would sit and cry and I am sure that my children couldn't understand what was going on with their mom.
DeleteYour son sounds like a great person. You obviously have done a great job raising him. I love his wise words "Not today, tomorrow". It means more than saying "one day at a time" to me. I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I have that written down inside my Bible so when I am feeling low, I will be able to see it and to say it to myself.
Your comment means so much to me. I so love that you shared
Blondie I am so very glad that you have that in your Bible should you need it. You are so right-while "one day at a time" is a powerful thing, this is so much more. It is STOP and wait and NOT today! Tomorrow. And the next day the same thing. Tomorrow. The day after that the same thing again. Tomorrow. And maybe even the day after that. Because us people that love you all, we need you in our lives. And while on a particular day that might be hard to feel. It is true. I am so very glad that I could help with that sharing. It was the most wonderful thing that I have heard from our son so far. It helped me to worry just a little bit less. Stay strong and know that we are all here for you if you need us. Any time. Any place. Absolutely! Many hugs,
Delete<3 Katie
I don't think I know a family that doesn't have a member that struggles with depression. My twin sister goes through it and is currently barely getting out of bed. Every phone call to her ends with Karen please remember your promise to me and your kids and she says I will not commit suicide. I will not do that to you or my children. She is part of my heart and head and soul and I remind her always to have her husband take her to the ER because I cannot live without her. She understands the bond of twins as well as I and I hope she never gets to a pint where the pain makes her forget. I worry a lot.
ReplyDeleteIt's a terrible disease.
Jackie, I am so sorry that depression hits so close to home. I know that twins can feel what their twin is feeling. She sounds like a fighter and is going to fight this illness, not just for herself but for her kids, for you, and for her husband. It sounds like the two of you are really close and I am praying that the strength the two of you share will keep your sister strong. I wish I could promise that she will be okay, It goes sound like she is fighter and that she is not going to quit any time soon. Just keep doing what you are doing. I will be sending you lots of good thoughts and know that I am around if you need to vent or share or anything else.
DeleteNot sure what to add. All has been said several times and with a lot more feelings than I'm able to write. You know what I admire about you Blondie? You can write so... balanced I guess is the word I am looking for. All aspects about depression, but suicide as well are written without adornment, without exaggeration. I am thinking difficult, it is in there. I'm thinking coward, it is in there. I'm thinking respect, it is in there. Not many people can do that you know, it is a gift. To be able to do that with those feelings that are holding you back, well chapeau to you.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and those who love you,
Han
Now you make me cry. You are very kind and supportive. Thank you so much. I am not sure that I deserve all that you said. I had to say something and luckily I have my blog where I can say what I want. You are a great person and if you lived closer I am sure that you and Ty would be great friends. You are a man with a big heart.
DeleteWow that was a wonderful insightful post. My son suffered from and still suffers from depression occasionally. My daughter is also suffering from depression. She's on her 3rd type of medication. Only seeing a very small change. Everything you wrote about I can see in my daughter and it breaks my heart. I pray to God that she will see the light one day and pray to God I don't get a call that she has hurt herself. Your are so right about having so much that is good and wonderful in your life and not being able to see it. She also gets gets so enraged at times. It's pretty scary. Do you ever feel like that? Thank you for the post. It helped clarify somethings and made me realize some of my thought were shared by others.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I do feel angry and I just want to yell and scream and throw things and punch something. I am so sorry that you are living with this illness. Being a mom and watching your child suffer if so agonizing. I also have been and I am in that position. I have gone through a lot of different medications. As my mother says, I have the right "cocktail" right now. But about a year ago, I knew that my meds were working as well as they were. My psychiatrist was able to tweak my meds and I am doing good right now. I pray that your daughter finds the right meds soon. I actually take three types of meds, at the same time, that's why my mom calls it a "cocktail". Fortunately, you have seen that the battle with depression can be won, by seeing your son fighting and doing well. Don't let your daughter quit. Make her go to her appointments so she can get the right medicine. If you have to drag her in, do it. But always, always remember, you are not in control. You can try to help but you are cannot be the one to fix things. Don't take on that responsibility. I am only saying to drag her in because I practically needed someone to bring me in and make me keep working on finding the right medicines. Ty actually has called my doctor and told him what was going on. You may not be able to go into the appointment or know what goes on when she meets with her doctor but the doctor will listen to you since you are only trying to help her. Hugs to you and I will be praying. Please let me know, if you want, how she is doing.
DeleteVery good post, Blondie. It's also a reminder to go beyond the smile and "okays" and "fines" to be aware of the pain people are going through. During my time that I used to work with mentally adults and adolescents, I've noticed that those that had a true support system were the ones who were able to cope so much better. It doesn't take the depression away, but it makes it bearable. It's a sickness like any other, but it's worse than physical illness, because others who can give that support don't realize so often until it's too late. And you're right, when you're going through it, you don't always know how to reach out. Those who aren't going through it are the ones who are supposed to be keeping our eyes open. God wants us to support each other, that's how things are supposed to work.
ReplyDeleteHuge hugs to you my friend. My heart aches that you have this struggle too. You do know I'm always here though, and that depression like any sickness, isn't as big as God is. Stay strong! :)
Yes, I know that you are there for me. And believe it or not, when I talk to you sometimes I am reaching out to you for your experience and professional advice. And just knowing you has always been an inspiration to me. I may not say this to you but I count on your friendship and I love you and I am so proud of you. Hope to see you soon when my little baby niece arrives.
DeleteThis is a great post, Blondie. I'm glad you shared it and hope that it helps many people, even that you will feel lifted by sharing it. It's a heavy burden, depression. And it's not a burden someone else can carry for you. It's good that you verbalized it in a way people understand. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
ReplyDeleteCan you write a DD story about someone like me who suffers from depression or ADHD or something like that? We learned a lot from our blog friend Mick about how a HoH can help with schedules and being a leader.
DeleteI did feel better writing this post but I was also really, really worried that I would offend some people. Hugs to you too
I will never, and can never, know the pain and trauma the depression brings. I will never be able to comprehend the black cloud that constantly hangs over the head of you and everyone else that suffers from this disease. But I do know that it takes bravery, courage and unbelievable strength to constantly battle with your demons. I do know what amazing courage it takes to publicly talk about your illness. All I can offer is my prayers to the Compassionate Buddha to watch over you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThis blog post has affected me deeply, but just at the moment I don't know how and what to do about it. I hope it will give strength and an insight to others that battle with any sort of mental disability to have the courage to battle on. Please accept my blessings Om ah hung benza guru pema sidi hung
Your prayers, your words of encouragement, and your kind words mean more to me that you could possible know. I am trying to find out what your last sentence means but I do believe it is something really kind.
DeleteThank you
Beautifully said.....
ReplyDeleteKady
Thanks Kady and thanks for reaching out.
DeleteHe will be remembered along with others we may have lost in that same heart-wrenching way. Thank-you for your openness and honesty in sharing. This is a beautifully raw and heartfelt post. While I do not suffer from depression, I have experienced moments thereof - the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of not enough among everything wonderful, the uncontrollable anxiety or worry over things not apparent to anyone but me. And I have experienced the loss of others who could not find the light out of the darkness. It is scary to be in the dark. It is scary to see those we care about in the dark. But it is so very real. For those struggling with depression, I wish them strength to find joy and to take care each day one step at a time searching towards the light...and I hold out my hand so they are not alone along the way. With much love and hugs to you, Terps
ReplyDeleteTerps, your comment is beautiful. It is very heartfelt and full of honesty and support. Thank you so very much.
DeleteTerps,I am so sorry that depression has touched your life. The black cloud is so hurtful. I really fight every day to not let my depression get the better of me. Every once in a great while, it wins and I lose. But I haven't gotten to the point where I would hurt my kids. Even when I believe that they would be better off without me, that their dad can remarry to a "normal: woman that can raise them - I know that I cannot be replaced and I am going to fight for mine loved ones just as hard as the are praying for me.
DeleteThank you for honestly sharing your experience. You do know how it feels and to admit it is the toughest part. Love and hugs to you my friends