You Need to Come Home - A Follow Up

I got a call on Saturday from my mother. She said "your dad is very fragile. He is not ever getting better, just worse. It won't be long now. It could be soon or it could be a couple of months." I asked to speak to my dad and my mom said "Honey, he can barely talk anymore, he just can't get enough air and it really tires him out." And then she told me "you need to come home and see your dad before it's too late"
I was in shock. Why hasn't my sister told me how bad things were getting? My Papa lived to be 98 and I always thought that my dad would live to be that old too. He was the healthy one, the one who would outlive all of the grandparents. This doesn't make sense.
I am a Daddy's girl. Even though I am adopted, we still had the closest bond. I was always following his around as he fixed things, cut wood, developed his film, and spent time in his  garden. I would talk to him, probably non-stop, and he seemed to always be listening. He even built me a bike once.
I was attracted to Ty, because he had so many of the good qualities of my dad. Everyone, and I mean everyone who ever met him, loved my dad. He is easy going, funny, and accepting.
Now what the hell and I supposed to do. I need to go home. I need to cuddle with him and even just lie next to him in his bed and hold his hand. There were always reasons/excuses to not go home before. Being around my mother and my sisters is really bad. There is a lot of animosity and assumptions, and just them picking on me. So I don't really go home. And then there is the fact that my parents have never really been "grandparents" and they don't like Ty. My mom and sisters they make my children feel unwelcome. It really sucks. I will have to go home by myself and free a day, having friends help out with the kids. But I am going home to see my daddy.


click on picture to listen to song
 

Thanks for letting me share my sadness and worry. My daddy is still here and I am going to spend as much time as possible with him. I don't care what my mother and sisters do to try to keep me away. He is my daddy and I am going home to be with him.




  A follow up....................

I went home yesterday and spent the afternoon with my dad. We had a nice time. It is true that he is fragile. I sat next to him, his arm around me. I played with his hands and just soaked up the love. At times, when we were totally alone, I told him how much I loved him and he told me how much he loved me. We shared some funny stories. He told me how proud of me and proud of the woman I had become. Many times, during the visit, tears would slip down my cheeks. He can not breathe without his oxygen. My dad is not happy about having the oxygen with him for 24/7. I would rather have the oxygen then not have him. The doctors would like to put something in his throat area that will provide pure oxygen into his lungs without him having to carry around and be hooked up to the oxygen machines. Good idea! He was also unhappy that they took away his driver's license. Which should have been done awhile ago but he feels like he has now lost all of his independence. My mom would pop her head in once in awhile and join in the conversation. She really took a liking to my 14 year old son, ignored my 12 year old and badmouthed my daughter. Grrrrrr. And of course she took her pot shots towards my husband/their father. Such is life. My 14 year old told me, on the drive home, that I need to really just not listen and not try to correct or "argue" with my mom. He told me that he only listened to about 50% of what she said and that I should do the same thing. Out of the mouth of babes.  I will seen him soon.