(S)Tinkerbell's Fairy Dust Worked!

Good news, I think we have finally come to a mutual agreement. 

Let me tell you that I suck at being submissive. I really tried but it just isn't in me. Plus, I think Ty had a difficult time with my submission because that isn't the wife he knows and loves and married. I don't like being told what to do, how to think, or how to behave. I am, though,  open to suggestions, hints, and just being asked.
So we go back to the basics of what we are looking for in our relationship. What is important and why, what is attainable and is not, and what Rules"can agree on.
Oh, did I happen to mention that I just don't have it in me to really be submissive.

Since we have started this thingy, everything has changed and for the better.
I am his partner, we are a team, we respect each other and wet work together. I have given him the 51% decision making but he listens to me now and will be the first to admit that my thoughts are right. But if he makes a decision, based on what we discussed, and I am unhappy with it, I need to support him and not whine about it or get mad at him. And that little temper issue and pouty issue has to stop.

It has really helped because we now listen instead of just shooting down each other's opinion. It also has heighten communication as we continue to grow. It  takes us both, working together to really see things 100%. Most of the time, I speak and think with my emotions and feelings. Ty is the logical one. Not always, but most of the time.

With a relationship, such as our, there has to be boundaries for each of us. There also has to be an understanding of why the rules are important and how they make our marriage better, and how it helps us both to become better spouses. . Ty isn't going to try and be a dictator or try to micro manage me.
Our rules, like I have stated before, are what we call the 4 D's. That is Disrespect, Dishonest, Dangerous, and Disobedient. Ty follows the same rules as I do, except for the Disobedient. He is to treat me with respect, always be honest, and not do anything that can harm us or our marriage.
I asked him who he was accountable to and he said that he was accountable to me. If he is breaking those rules, I can tell him, warn him, and, last resort, pull the 51%/49% agreement. Just because I do not like the way he acts or I am mad at him, being respectful is always necessary.

I wouldn't consider me totally "un" submissive though. Since I have some issues that I need some help with, we have decided that I will be accountable to him. He will spank me when I mess up. Plain and simple.  Unfortunately for me, I tend to overcommit, not finish things, get a little snarky, or just plain ol' not do what I should do, I can't prioritize and when frustrated I am really not nice to him. I have a list of things that I am supposed to do daily. Plus I am in charge of our calendar, making sure the kids and us get to where we need to go. These are the kinds of things that some people wouldn't understand what is do difficult for one to do but I struggle with these simple tasks.  This relationship is what has helped me. That's also where the consequences come into play. He has my permission to spank me when I mess up. And in return, he cares for me, protects me, leads me, and makes sure that I am on the right track, and he makes me feel safe.
Ty calls me Stinkerbell, that is why I am using her pictures.


There is a part II of our agreement, saved for the next post.