What is Domestic Discipline To Me

 Grace from Enjoying the Journey as a post asking what is Domestic Discipline. Instead of commenting, I decided to do my own post. But there are two things that I wanted to discuss here. One is to answer the question and two is to voice my concerns about dd.

What is DD? I really don't think that there is one answer that fits for every relationship. My understanding is that a husband and a wife agree that the wife will follow the husband and the husband will lead the family. The wife is accountable for her actions to her husband. And he can decide the consequences for bad/negative behavior. And there is usually rules for her to follow. The husband also has the final decision. The wife can state her case and the husband listens but the husband makes the decision, deciding what is best for the family. He is the HoH, the head of the household. In return, the husband must be a good and fair leader and follow similar rules. Punishments that the husband may use on the wife vary. In general, the spanking is usually what connects those who participate in dd. Some couples use non spanking punishments too. This arrangement is mutually agreed upon by both spouses.

Most of the couples I know that do dd, have three or four implements that are used. Paddles, straps, spoons, brushes,  the hand are the most common ones I hear about. We had a wood and a lexan paddle, belt, shower brush, hair brush and his hand. He has used a plastic hanger, unsuccessfully, because we were looking for a quiet implement.

I know what to expect, pretty much, for maintenance, or punishment or for fun. Yes, we do the fun erotic too. I know that if I mess up, that the spanking will not be fun and it is going to hurt.
The spankings work for us. I don't want to displease my husband. I want to do the right thing for him, for me and for my kids. I want to be the person God wants me to be. That is the real deterrent for me, wanting to do the right thing, it isn't the spanking. The spanking is the consequence. I mess up, I feel bad, I get spanked and we move on. The spanking relieves me of the negative feelings I have towards my actions. And my husband can voice his feelings in his lecture and what changes he expects and he spanks and it is over. We are done with the bad and moving on. The spanking can also change an attitude or reenforce a behavior that is expected. It works for us. I wish we knew about this type of lifestyle years ago. But we know now and we are very happy.

I know that we all do this dd or ttwd differently. We make the arrangement based on what is best for us. But I have a concern and I don't know if it is valid or not.
My concern isn't about us it is about my friends. Their husbands, in my opinion, seem to think that they can beat/spank their wives into submission. The wife doesn't see herself as part of a couple. The wife isn't trying to work within the defined relationship but instead is constantly trying to figure a way out of a rule or out of a punishment. The husband continues to obtain implements that are more and more serious. Why? If a spanking isn't working, is a beating going to work?
Use of these implements, in my opinion, is what makes dd look like bdsm.

   Cane - iac describes the first implement as the Devil Braid, 15" of pure hell. "Talk about a sadistic piece, this is it" It is made with four 3/8" silicone cord, braided together

Wicked Senior is a 30" long rubber tubing cane. Kind of like getting hit with a rubber hose that you use in your garden. Very scary. 

Now if you are a spanko, implements like these may not be such a big deal. But for a relationship that is supposed to be loving discipline to better a marriage, these implements seem way too harsh. It really worries me that husbands can be so sadistic because most of the wives are not spankos. So if you are doing d and s, isn't that part of bdsm?

Does a wife behave better when her bottom is punished to look like this

Because this works for me every time

I have really taken to Stormy's new term for dd - DH, Domestic Harmony. As a couple, my husband and I share the same goals for our marriage and our family. We want the harmony. My submission to my husband comes from the heart. It is a way of living not something I have to do. I love, honor and respect my husband because he is worthy and deserving of that. And he treats me with love and respect and kindness. That is what dd means to me.

ps I hope I didn't offend anyone-not my intention

          -Blondie