I have an absolutely beautiful daughter. She is so kind and sweet with a heart of gold. And on the outisde, she absolutely gorgeous. As her mother, I count my blessing daily for her. But this precious child of mine suffers from Trichotillomania. I know it is really hard on her but today I have to be honest and say that this is just killing me.

Here is the techinal version:

What Is Compulsive Hair Pulling?



this is an example of what it looks like.this is not my daughter 



Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania (trick-o-til-o-MAY-nee-ah) is a disorder that causes people to pull out the hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic area, underarms, beard, chest, legs or other parts of the body, resulting in noticeable bald patches. Hair pulling varies greatly in its severity, location on the body, and response to treatment. For some people, at some times, trichotillomania is mild and can be quelled with a bit of extra awareness and concentration. For others, at times the urge may be so strong that it makes thinking of anything else nearly impossible.

My daughter is a freshman in high school this year. She started pulling her hair in fifth grade. By the time sixth grade had started, she had no hair from about behind her ears forward. She wore a head covering every day. People did not know what was wrong, many thought she had cancer because of the hair loss.

When I first noticed her pulling her hair, she was already seeing a counselor. They had no idea why she was pulling, so I took her to a psychiatrist. The medine they gave her first made her sick, and then made her suicidal. The doctors were not very sympathetic. They felt that she was in danger and wanted to hospitalize her. I took her off the medicine. She wasn't suicidal anymore but there were other problems. We finally found a wonderful doctor who has been working with her for the last almost four years.




back of my daughter

Her hair grew back in and it was so lovely. It was curly where it has used to be straight. People thought she had a permanent. She is tiny little thing, just beginnng to develop. Over the summer, the signs of maturity were all there. He hair pulling had almost all but stopped, though at times we noticed she would pull out her eyelashes. And then she started high school.



Her anxiety was at a all time high, Most of the students she knew from before, weren't the ones she went to middle school with. So these girls only remembered her from when she had pulled her hair out. And my god, girls are so mean. They talked about her behind her back, telling people what she had done, calling her crazy. And all that excitement she was feeling towards high school became now just an overwhelming dread. By Thanksgiving, she didn't want to go to school. Every morning was a battle. She was sick to her stomach. I tried to talk to the school adminstrators and her teachers but there was little they could do if my daughter didn't want them to do anything. She was scared of any type of retaliation. All of her doctors, trusted adults and her father and I tried to help.

But she started pulling again. Damn it! And by the time I really noticed, so much of her hair had been pulled out that she could barely cover it up. Now she really didn't want to go to school. We are on winter break right now. We have increased her anxiety medicine, scheduled some extra appointments with her psychologist and have met with her psychiatrist. The hair pulling has slowed but the damage is done.

What triggered it this time. Was it the bullying at school, was it the changes at home since we started DD (meaning less chaos), or is it something I will never figure out.

And now what do I do to help her. What is in her best interest? My heart is breaking.