It went something like this: (sorry but I am not sharing the entire letter)
In my unstable and crazy world, you are my rock, my constant.
I love to please you and hate to disappoint you.
I need your strength.
I want you to tell me the good things and tell me when you are proud.
And I want you to hold me accountable when I mess up.
I need your consistency and your routine.
We must never return to where we were before TTWD
Neither of us can be lackadaisical and forget about the other
We must continue to make our relationship our priority
I love you so much and I am so thankful to you for being my rock, shelter and friend.
He replied to me something like this (again, I am sorry but I am not sharing the entire letter)
Thank you so much for being submissive to me.
You make me feel like a real man
I succeed because you are always there for me
I take my job as the head of the household very serious
And I will be your strength because you allow me to.
I love you so much it is scary.
Then my husband turned me over his knee. At first he was gentle. He told me how proud of me he was and pointed out some of the little things that I thought had gone unnoticed. And then layed me on the bed and spanked me for messing up with my stupid mail order prescription (again). He spanked me hard, it was a punishment spanking.
I was kind of hoping that since I didn't completely run out, that I would be in the clear. But no, we had to buy it through the regular pharmacy where it costs three times as much.
And then he held me while I cried. I cuddled up into his lap and listened to his heart beat. Thank you I told him. And he hugged me.
I love this man of mine.
Aww I bet you love him, he sounds really great. What precious words you two exchanged. I know you probably didn't want that spanking, but at the same time, it's great he cares so much that he follows through no matter what. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteRiley, I do love him so much it is almost scarey. He is the world to me. And I am so lucky that he feels the same about me. He is a good man
DeleteBlondie, thank you for sharing such a touching and beautiful part of your life.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
Thanks Cat,
DeleteIt's nice that friends like you read my blog and see what I am feeling.
You said it, he's your rock and your his anchor. What a great pair.
ReplyDeleteYes, he really is. Life can be so unsettling and confusing. To have him be there, to be my steady and security, I am fortunate. It didn't happen over night and it took a lot of trying but it is working now.
DeleteSuch lovely words from both of you. I can hear the love and care that you share. It is stunning how much our marriages change with ttwd. It feels so amazing to go from broken to blissfully happy doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteAmazing how loved we can feel when they are consistent and spank even if it is for punishment. You guys sound so happy.
Sometimes I cannot believe that it is real. Our marriage has never been as strong as it is now. And him being conistent is very important to this. TTWD really works for us. Thanks for seeing what I was feeling.
DeleteWhat beautiful letters. The ability to share and tell your husband these feelings is wonderful. Best wishes and hugs during your rough time.
ReplyDeleteLove, Isabella
Thanks Isabella. I am a much better writer than talker. We have always communicated by me writing letters. He has always read them and responded in some way. Thanks for the hugs and wishes, life is a little more sane lately.
DeleteHi Blondie, I haven't commented before but have been reading for a while now and enjoy your blog. What beautiful letters, thank you for sharing it. Sharing these feelings with your husband is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHi Roz, I didn't know that you ever read my blog. Thank you. I so love my husband for understanding what I meant and couldn't say. He is a wonderful person, father and husband.
DeleteI think that this is what it's all about, what so many of us are looking for. I'm glad you found it. You two are doing it right!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
PK
Awww PK, thanks. I don't think that we are always doing it right. But we work on it a lot. TTWD has not become the focus of our lives but it is now the glue that keeps us together.I hope that make sense
Delete"And even though I wasn't sure if this was a letter I wanted him to read, I knew that things would never change unless I shared my feelings."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as though you're very glad he read it, and his letter in response was perfect. I hope that whatever it is you want to change, is changing.
I'm sorry things have been tough emotionally. I'm glad your rock helped reassure you and calm you, get you back to feeling more yourself. Be well, my friend, and enjoy this day. Blessings...
Irishey
I have learned that he isn't a mind reader. Use to make us both mad because I felt like he wasn't trying to understand me and he felt like I was expecting him to know what I was thinking. Ooops.
DeleteSometimes a gentle nudge or reminder puts us back on track. We can't forget the little things or I get lost and so does he.
ps you need to email me so we can talk about you doing a post on my blog ;-)
Isn't it strange how we are so hesitant to put ourselves out there? Or assume they should know what we are thinking and feeling? Or worry we'll seem too emotional and needy? I felt that hesitation in your preface to us before sharing those letters. Just think if you had simply thrown away your letter because you were not sure you wanted him to read it. What a missed opportunity that would have been. All the wonderful things you each said to the other were heartfelt and very touching, and you both needed to hear them.
DeleteI will email you tomorrow. I hope you have a topic I can handle! ;-)
Irishey
Very touching on both sides. You have a strong marriage and you are both a great example. I bet you feel very safe and loved this day. I am glad. Thanks for sharing the parts that you did. Regards.
ReplyDeleteSNP, you words are always so kind. I do feel safe and loved. This relationship has really helped us to become closer. While it was our love that kept us together, now we have a new way to live peacefully
DeleteIt sounds like those letters helped you each to express things that you both really needed to hear and have heard. It's always such a wonderful feeling when you realize they've noticed things that you didn't really expect them to notice:) You've got a wonderful, solid man there Blondie!
ReplyDeleteTess, sometimes I think that it is a good thing he doesn't read blogs, cause this post my go to his head. Lol. He is a wonderful and solid man. And a great father too. Lots of trial and error but really worth it.
Delete"Neither of us can be lackadaisical and forget about the other
ReplyDeleteWe must continue to make our relationship our priority"
"I will be your strength because you allow me to.
I love you so much it is scary"
Simply beautiful (she said with tears streaming down her cheeks), puzzle pieces filling spaces, the reciprocity of fountain filling fountain. Thank you for sharing.
June that is beautiful,thanks for adding. Next time I need help writing a letter, can I ask you for help? Lol. You too must have a great marriage for you to notice some of the things that were said. Thanks for understanding what we said to each other.
DeleteThanks for sharing Blondie. You so beautifully expressed what I think dd is all about. I'm going to ask my husband to read it.
ReplyDeleteAwww Joanie, thanks! I use to pick out posts that I felt described how I felt, and shared with my husband. It helped us a lot. Well, I guess I still do sometimes. You and I discussed this and I know that you two will find the balance and make it work for you.
DeleteI loved reading the exchange of heartfelt words between the two of you. Michael and I have had similar conversations. It sounds like he took good care of you too. Very sweet Blondie. :)
ReplyDeleteGrace, have I ever told you that you are an inspiration to me. I see myself and my husband in many of your posts and I just think to myself, that's us. I love how the two of you communicate. Thanks for stopping by
DeleteQuite often I relate to your posts as well Blondie. You and your husband remind me of myself and Michael in many ways. I hope you have a fabulous weekend together! :)
DeleteBeautiful letters Blondie. I feel privileged to have read them. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cowgirl, that is sweet of you to say. Your short comment brought tears to my eyes. The word "privelage" did me in. Thanks.
DeleteYes I know I am a dork but what you said kind of felt special. Lol yes I am a dork.
It was SNP that said that to me on one of my earlier posts. I thought it was such a beautiful thing to say that it stuck with me. When I read this post, I truly felt that way too. A dork is the very last word I would use to describe you, Blondie!
DeleteThanks. SNP always makes me feel good to with what she writes.
DeleteIt's great that you two expressed yourself to eachother like that. Sometimes we know those feelings are there but we we just need to reminf eachother how we feel. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks dancingbarez! We do need to remind each other once in awhile, espcially when times are crazy and there is so much going on. He is my anchor and he makes me feel safe and secure. And I am home, a place to come home to.
DeleteBlondie, thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts! My husband and I could see the love and find it inspirational. TTWD is amazing and has changed many lives, I know it has changed my husbands and mine. Thank you again for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMarcia
Marcia, I am glad that you have had similar great outcomes as we have had with ttwd. I wondered if anyone would even read this post b/c it was so personal. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteThe letters you wrote each other are such a beautiful tribute to your loving relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you both are able to communicate your love, needs and expectations perfectly.
Minelle, thanks for saying nice things about my post. I am amazed that you and others can recognize what we were feeling. I bet your relationship has got to be similar to understand my letter. Thanks for stopping by
DeleteBeautiful letters.
ReplyDeleteAs a man I admire especially the words your husband said.
Loving so much is scary indeed.
Thanks Bas. My husband is a man of few words but when he speaks, he speaks volumes. It is scary to let yourself be vulnerable
DeleteThose are both really lovely letters Blondie. It is so easy to miss each other and in merely days find the gap widening to a frightening place. I like how you two go out of your way to find each other.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susie. We try and try and try some more. We have a lot of habits that need to be undone from the past. But it is so worth it.
DeleteI so appreciate the sharing on these ttwd/dd blogs. As I read, I find a place where I too feel free to share. Share not only on these blogs, but with my own husband. Thank you for sharing. God Bless You and Yours, Belle L.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the letters, or parts of them. Truly sweet :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have your rock, and that you can cling to him when you feel lost. Listening to his beating heart helps you find your own rhythm. Lovely post, Blondie.
Thanks Stormy. I do love this man. Don't know what I would do without him.
DeleteI'm sorry I missed this post earlier. We have just started dd, so some how I missed this. I have been reading your posts for quite some time but have never commented until now. I am a huge letter writer too. Somehow it is so much easier to communicate when you can get all your thoughts down, and edit and edit some more. It is also way easier when the house if full of little people.
ReplyDeleteBoth your letters were so touching. You let yourself be open and vulnerable. Such a strong thing to do. Your reward ?- " I love you so much it's scary". I think my heart would literally EXPLODE if my husband wrote those words ! Absolutely amazing.
Hi Wilma, I am so glad you commented. I, like you, have always been a letter wwriter. My husband, not so much. The thing is, that with DD, we have opened up more to each other than we ever had the twenty years prior. It leaves one feeling very vulnerable. But our love and trust has really grown. I am so glad that we decided to begin this lifestyle. I think that my husband has come a long way in truly sharing his feelings and being open and honest. Some how though, it makes it easier if we are both doing it. I hope that you stop by and comment again.
Delete