Old Note - A Reminder from God?

I found a piece of paper the other day. It was kind of shocking. It was a list of things that my husband was doing that I thought were hurting our relationship. It was a list that I had made to take to the marriage counselor.
We had been seeing a marriage counselor for three and a half years. And about the time that list was made, it was probably the worst time for our marriage. It was about a year ago. I had pretty much given up on my husband. Divorce wasn't an option but that didn't mean that I liked him.

He was mean and cruel. I was passive aggresive. He felt like was doing everything, carrying the entire load. I felt like I did nothing right. No matter how I did something, it was wrong. The kids knew how to play us. They didn't like the fighting. They wanted me to stick up for myself. They wanted their dad to stop being so stessed. Our household was a mess. I felt so alone and unwanted.


Could we both be wrong and both be right?

 

From there to here, it's been a journey. 


Our prayers were answered.


Our committment to our marriage and family was rewarded.


TTWD


 

When I submit to my husband, I agree to be respectful, to do my share of the household chores, to act like an adult and when there is a conflict I allow him to have the final say. In return, my husband listens to me more than he has ever done before, he supports me in my parenting, he is aware of what I am doing and we have become lovers and best friends again. He has always been a hard worker and a very honest and caring person. The communication is clearer between us. We are now a team.

I have found that submission comes from the heart. I submit to my husband because I love him and respect him.

TTWD

He spanks me. One thing I have learned is that a spanking can change my behavior or thoughts. If I have done something that I am kicking myself for and I feel horrible about it, he can spank me and we can both forgive and move on. It is such a feeling of relief for me. I don't have to continue to feel bad about myself. And when things in our relationship begun to fall backwards into old behaviors, then we can do a reconnect spanking where we reaffirm our relationship and it is like starting fresh again. No more hurt feelings or negative comments. It is so much better then the consant bickering.

 

Today, my heart feels like exploding when I think about him. I LOVE him so much. I love when he calls and checks in with me, just the sound of his voice. I can't wait till he gets home, I wish that he never had to leave. I love the way he is so much more himself, the man I fell in love with.

I wanted to just throw away the old note that I had found. But I decided not to because it is such an awesome reminder of how far we have grown. Things are constantly changing. Nothing in life stays the same. With God in our marriage, we will never give up.