I seem to start and stop blog posts again and again. I am just not much of a writer an when I read back what I have written, I just erase it. I am not a good story teller and I am terrible with telling jokes. I always mess up the punchlines.
Life here is never boring. But it seems like when before, I blogged about everything, now I have a hard time writing anything of relevance.
Ty was telling someone about attitude adjustments. Where I was being mouthy or stubborn and he had had enough. He told them that he would take me back into my bedroom and bend me over the bed and cane me three or four times. He would then ask me if I was better and depending on my reply and quickness of my response, he would continue with the caning or let me up. He also told them how well it worked, how I became a different person after an attitude adjustment.
Me, being me (after I got over the shock that he was sharing this), said to him how good I have been because I haven't had a spanking like that in a very long time. And Ty agreed. He still claims that I am a brat but he thinks that I am doing great with all of my attitude It kind of makes me mad because, obviously, he isn't paying much attention. He lets a lot slide and sometimes I resent it.
We still have a lot of playtime, so it's not like I am in need of a spanking. It's more that I want his attention to my behavior. Sounds silly, I know. I slip up and he doesn't even notice. It's not on purpose but I do have moments when an attitude adjustment is exactly what I need but I am not about to tell him how to do his job. But things are so good, I am just going to let this slide and maybe, just maybe, I will share with him that he might have let some things go and I wish he wouldn't.
It was wonderful to stumble onto a new post exactly one minute after you posted, Blondie. I do not like it either when Sam lets things slide. We talk about that sometimes, and Meredith wrote a good post about that recently. Of course, when I was recuperating from a knee surgery the last 6 weeks, Sam was reluctant. But soon I will post about when he finally had enough. You must explain to whom Ty was talking about ttwd!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs From Ella
I hope to read a post about Sam having enough soon. Hope your knee is feeling better. Surgery is tough. I will have to blog about Ty talking about ttwd.
DeleteI have been there...the more he ignores, the more I try to provoke..and then we both end up in a place we don't much like.....M has learned...one warning at the most, and then a spanking works best for us. hugs abby
ReplyDeleteI would like even a warning, that would help.... I told him the other day that maybe I should be the Dom because I wouldn't let things slide. He only laughed.
DeleteYikes! I think I would absolutely die if I heard Matt telling someone of my antics and his antidote. But I have been there when I know I'm getting crankier and he seems so darn forgiving! (Don't you just hate a kind and patient man when you're itching for a good hard reset??). Once I even sent Matt a meme that simply said "I'm acting like a brat, so you treat me like a brat and take me over your knee!" Wasn't the smartest thing to do - but he got the message. :) :) Hope you get the adjustment your craving. Hugs -- shell
ReplyDeleteStill haven't gotten any kind of adjustment. So I am still a little bit on edge. He is finally noticing and even commented about it but no action taken. I am not sure if I could be brave enough to ask for one right now
DeleteHi, Blondie!
ReplyDeleteFor the first time ever, I locked Storm out of our bedroom. I'm spilling the beans here on your blog before I even write it on my own! It was a very stressful time, I had enough of a certain something (not him) that had been building. I walked away from him and I knew he was following me into the bedroom. So I locked it before he got there! I don't recommend it, but that did get his attention! LOL!
I understand your guy "letting it slip by" type stuff. Storm often shows me way too much mercy and gives the benefit of the doubt when he shouldn't. For a while, I would say things to him like, "That is okay with you? That smart off thing I just said to you? Does that seem like it should fly in ttwd relationship?" I hate saying it...but I have said it because I hate him ignoring it more.
So in the spirit of my recent post....... point it out to to him EVERY TIME for a while until he gets it. It sucks doing that, but when he starts catching your sass or attitude more often, it will be worth it. Glad to see you posting and sharing honestly about your ttwd in your home. And I'm with Ella.... who in the world did Ty tell? LOL!! Hugs! Windy
I locked him out of the bedroom after reading your comment and still no spanking. He is just letting too much slide, silly man. But he has the next five days off so maybe we will get some kind of attitude adjustment. I am going to do a blog post about who Ty was talking to. It's a pretty good story
DeleteIn a sassy manner...remind Him when he lets it slide...is what I would or might do..if I were feeling really brave and then I would runnnnnn....hugs abby
ReplyDeleteI can just see you running, lol and that's what I would do too.
DeleteFrank is paying more attention to consistency and follow thru these days ... we had problems with this last fall ... the more he let things slide the more I did as well, until it felt like the ttwd had disappeared.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the rest of the commenting crew here ... he said what to whom?!?! If I was you I'd be mortified unless it was a ttwd friend ... thanks for such a sharing post, Blondie! ... nj ... xx
Consistency is good, I like it even when it gets to be a little too much. It wasn't a total vanilla person he told the details to, so I am only a little embarrassed.
DeleteHi Blondie, I would be mortified if Rick talked to someone about ttwd, unless they were practicing ttwd also.
ReplyDeleteI think most of us have been there. Frustration at letting things slide. I think at least some of the time it's a case of our guys noticing the behaviour but deciding for one reason or another to give grace. If only they would communicate this so that we know they have noticed and have some understanding of their perspective on the situation.
Hugs
Roz
If only Ty spoke to others about ttwd that were also in the lifestyle. I think life would be different. But he usually doesn't talk to anyone.
DeleteIt is frustrating and I know, deep down, that this too will pass but in the mean time I wish he would act on it.
Blondie, I think most of us have been there before so know what you mean. I would be interested to know who Ty was talking to about ttwd.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Okay, I will post about Ty sharing because it is kind of funny and embarrassing. I can't believe he did. And thanks for reminding me that I am not alone, we have all been here before it seems.
DeleteAttitude adjustment in our household is my wife getting the hairbrush and I quickly get ready for a spanking. Does not matter when and where, she will not accept this at all. Been spanked while on vacation visiting the mother-in-law, hotels. Most spankings take place in the bedroom, but the dreaded facing the wall is in the frontroom, either bare from the waist down to show off the red spanked bottom or totally naked, which depends what I have done.
ReplyDeleteWow! I hope you don't need attitude adjustments very often. We use to use the hairbrush but it was too loud.
DeleteMy wife could care less if others hear, they would not be hearing if I did not need a spanking. The first time I was spanked at my mother-in-laws, thankful she a widow she walked into the bedroom, I was bare bottom over my wife lap and she said long over due and handed her daughter a bigger hairbrush. She sat and watched and then took me to the front room to face the wall while the two talked.
DeleteKeep trying as long as you can. I've given up. Love my husband, love our marriage. But on DD, I've given up.
ReplyDeleteThanks PK, I am not giving up. You have a great husband and a great marriage but I can understand why you might give up on the attitude adjustments. You probably don't ever need one. Lol
DeleteHey Lady,
ReplyDeleteSo a few things I want to talk about ( yes this means get comfortable). I understand what you mean with the writing of the blog portion of this post. As you know until recently I have been gone for a long time off of my own blog. I do ramble on others though! I am going with the one foot in front of the other thing when it comes to writing things of significance. I see you are touching on that now.
The next thing I wanted to mention was about the attitude, but I think maybe there is a bit of a mental cross over here with writing 'anything of significance". Could it be that the writing of significance has to do with how long you and Ty have been practising the Dd portion of this? After a while, I think to myself ( about myself not others) we have been doing this a LONG time, why the heck are we stumbling again in this stupid area? But that also could trickle over into, why would I write about that on my blog AGAIN....or even show people that (answer because it happens to ALL of us...so sharing is good).
When B 'came out' last year as a Sadist ( probably should use a lower case 's' as he still isn't comfortable with this revelation) our "play" time increased. Unfortunately for our dynamic one of the cornerstones decreased in attention. He was becoming more placated with his desires and needs and I wasn't stressed as much because the physical attention often helped my submission...BUT after a while I think maybe I was a tad resentful. As much as I was grateful to be useful in his discoveries and growth as he was in mine years ago, our dynamic seemed to not get the attention it needed. B WAS very happy, and was willing to overlook a lot of little things when it came to me and being curt. The more he over looked the more frustrated I got. It wasn't conscious for me, more like an end of the day reflection thing. Perhaps that is what is happening with you and Ty? He is placating his dominance with his physical need and assumes that your submission is helped to the same degree with it? He's happy so he's willing to let what he didn't used to slide.
I know years in re discussing something you had a firm hold of for a long time can seem discouraging and frustrating- TRUST ME I KNOW! But from the outside looking in, I think it is not that he lost sight of Dd, but maybe the newer areas are clouding his vision and he needs you to remind him to refocus a bit. These sort of things, in my experience, erode slowly and no one notices until someone does. I think it is just human nature to let things slide when we are happy, to see the positives, until someone says, "Hey take off the rose coloured glasses would ya?"
And lastly, I love your writing. No one has to be a world class writer to share themselves. I will take authenticity over pretty ANY DAY!
love
willie
You make some really good points. Yes, it is frustrating to be here in this situation again after so many years. I think that Ty is a more go with the flow kind of guy and he just gets comfortable. I need more from him and in return he would get more from me. I think you are spot on about the sadist and play time. Since we play every week or two, he probably is getting all of his needs met. But our ttwd lifestyle is what makes our marriage so good. The play is great but it doesn't affect our marriage. I need to share this idea with him - good point. My writing stinks but I am authentic. Thanks
DeleteHi, Blondie. Does Ty read your blog? The Duke reads mine, and sometimes I find it much easier to share things with him in a post, than in person... especially now that he decided about a month ago I wasn't allowed to post until he read! AUGH. lol But I hope that you and Ty can talk this out, so that he knows what your needs are, and that you need more accountability, more knowing he's there and that he expects more from you. That is the truly hard thing about DD, or what have you. That need to be so open and honest, brutally honest and vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteI would be shocked too if the Duke share about what we do with someone else, but hopefully Ty used sound judgement, and only shared with someone he knew would keep the information safe.
Hugs, EsMay
No, he doesn't read my blog unless I ask him to specifically. I do need to just be brutally honest with him and let him know that I am hanging on by a thread. I think he is starting to notice because he mentioned something about it last night. I am just hoping he figures it out without me saying anything because I am very stubborn and I want him to do "his job" as unfair as that sounds. I need to just be honest, thank you.
DeleteAnd I will blog about Ty talking.
Blondie! I love your stories and your writing so stop it with the negative talk. Write what you want. We're all there with you. :)
ReplyDeleteAmy
Thank you. And I will stop with the negative talk but after reading your last blog, one of us (and it's not me) should be writing books.
Deletei'm with them. you write awesome. and so what if there's nothing of significance to write about? have u seen MY blog lately? i'm not even a ttwd blog, nor a sex blog, nor an anything blog these days. but it's your blog and it doesn't all have to be deep serious A+ material. Altho i do feel you cos sometimes i wonder why i would write the same thing over and over.. who would read it?
ReplyDeleteBIKSS lets everything slide. Especially cos he knows i get mouthy / pissy when I'm having a lot to deal with (father's illness etc) but I usually apologise on my own, and he explains why he didn't make an issue of it.
As Roz said - it does help when I know that he's noticed. and that he hasn't just gotten soft on me, but that he knows this is not the time to do anything about it. not yet anyway. I think of it as "crap, and now one of these days when I'm all better and fine, we'll have to deal with a reckoning" :)
I am glad you understand where I am coming from. Sometimes finding something to blog about is hard especially when life is all non ttwd. Ugh! You have a lot on your plate and I would understand you getting mouthy. Hope things settle down soon. And I am sure the reckoning will be blogworthy, lol.
ReplyDelete