I am at a crossroad in my life, it seems. What am I doing? I had gone back to school and was taking classes, that all worked well around the kids' schedule and I enjoyed the learning. Now all I have left is three math classes and I hate math. I am not going to summer school, taking a break. So now what? See it is time for me to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I am not needed at home like I was before when the kids were little. But I haven't worked in 25 years outside of the home in a paid way. Sure I have tons of experience and volunteer hours but that doesn't get me a job.
The next question is, what kind of job do I want? Heck if I know. If I had my druthers, I would work where I could read. I am a voracious reader. I love to critique books and I would love to help edit the books that I read. What would that take? Probably more education and experience then I have. I don't think that correcting book reports and student essays would qualify me. But I am good at it.
Before I became a mom, I worked in a bank. Boy has that industry changed. Everything is computerized, the tellers don't even add up the checks, they just put the checks through a machine. Now that I could do. And I love working with people. I have sent in job applications and I never hear back, I guess I don't have what they are looking for.I want to work. I need to get away from the house. My kids are almost all adults and they aren't growing up with me around to take care of them.They are slobs and they just aren't progressing towards moving out and being responsible adults. They are all working or going to school full time but they have no regard to cleaning up after themselves. I don't do their laundry and I don't cook for the older kids (just my high schoolers). So they do it themselves and leave a big mess and I am going bat shit crazy here.
What do I need? A spanking to help me with this overwhelmed feeling, someone who can help me put a good resume together (I am going to work with a professional, I think), another spanking to get the endorphins going, and a job. I also need for my children to grow up and move out. I feel like a terrible mom for saying that but it is really time for them to go. I don't care if Ty says that we will charge them rent, they still make messes. Maybe I could charge for housecleaning services. Grrrr, I don't want to clean up after other people. And one of the hardest parts of all of this is the fact that I taught them how to be responsible and to put things away.Thanks for reading my confusing vent.
Hi Blondie,
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Mom but I imagine this is a difficult time for Mom's. The kids have gtown and no longer need you to take care of their daily needs. What now? and yes, there does come a time the little birds need to leave the nest. I get it. Maybe research what would be required around reading, editing etc. I think getting a professional help with a resume is a good idea.
I too have been at crossroads this year having been laid off from a job I had held forever and asking myself what do I want to do now? I am about to start a new job in a couple of weeks. It's a daunting prospect, starting again somewhere new with new people after aĺl this time, and at my age! lol
Hugs
Roz
Thank you for your support. A new job for you, that's exciting though I am sure it is daunting. You will do great.
DeleteI so very much get you..mine all moved out...but one came back...and is in no hurry to leave. After lots of frustration, and even tho she is an adult, I set up some rules...she now has responsabilities round the house, and she must do them. Took me along time to get to this point, but it does help in many ways. As for the job hunt...hope you find exactly where you are meant to be...hugs abby
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. Yeah, we definitely need to set up some rules around here, that's a good idea.
DeleteBlondie,
ReplyDeleteNo matter what path you choose, you will be astounded at how much technology you will need to learn! A strong resume is a good place to practice. I found a good book to help me make my resume look modern and sharp - how to use powerful verbs, etc. Also take a look at a website called Women Back to Work. Remember Rosie the Riveter....You Can Do It!
Hugs From Ella
Thanks Ella, that is a great website that I am going to spend more time reading. The technology is a little overwhelming but the way it simplifies things, once you get it, is awesome. I can do this, I have to keep telling myself this....
DeleteHi Blondie, have no useful advice, just sympathy! OUr youngest boomeranged back a couple of times. however he got engaged a couple of days ago and is living with his fiancee now. Peace at last. On the job front, I have no idea, you need help from a recruitment agency maybe to get you started. Good luck!
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
Jan, thank you for just your kind words and support and sympathy. It's nice to know that I am not alone. I am looking forward to the peace at my house.
DeleteHi Blondie, I have no advice on either topic. My daughters both left home after university and Harry and I run our own business. Getting professional help with the resume is a good idea, I did that many moons ago and it was well worth it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the job hunt and the kids!
Rosie xx
Rosie, I need all of the luck I can get right now, thank you so much. I am sure that I need professional help, maybe in more than one way because I may go crazy before this all clears.
DeleteBlondie, Have you tried to put some rules in place for them, would that work? I agree with Ella, get a good resume. Have you looked into proof reading positions? Wishing you luck and please keep us updated.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Ronnie, thank you so much for caring. The rules idea is a great idea that we should implement. I don't even know where to start to look for a proof reading position but that is something I would like to do. I will let you know.
DeleteBlondie, I am interested in what awaits you on the other side of completing your math courses. Whatever it may be, is it a field of study that you're still interested in ? I ask because I graduated from college later in life.... so I understand the few classes hanging over your head that you don't want to take...... but I am glad that I did as it gave me my college degree in the field of which I was working and wanted to be .... for lack of a better word, certified. Also, at your university there should be a resource center where they help you with your resume for free. Best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteWindy, I am going for a Sociology major. Me and math just don't get along. I know math, just not algebra. I am proud of you for going back and getting your degree. I know I need to do this just because it is important to me. I could try and find a resource center and hopefully get some help. Thank you!
DeleteHi Blondie, :) Oh the job hunt thing is not easy these days! The manners of yesteryears don't seem to come into play anymore. Companies often don't respond to applicants. Is there a local networking group in your area? That might be helpful. Windy had a great idea about going to your college career center. I'm guessing that colleges want their statistics to say that graduates are employed, so will do all that they can to help you out. I wish you well!
ReplyDeleteThat is so rough about the kids! Three of our four live away. Our youngest is home for a five month period, before heading back to college. Rob and I have made some statements about what we expect in terms of neatness, respect etc. She is pretty good about it all, and is a pretty easy kid to have around. If something goes awry, I make no qualms about taking the car keys away until I am heard, etc. I don't know if that is something at your disposal, but it can work wonders. Ronnie's idea about rules is a good one. They might go running for the hills! You and Ty will have your house to yourselves once more. I wish you well moving forward. I also hope that you find a job that is a joy to go to! Many hugs,
❤️Katie xoxo
It's sad that I have to make rules for my adult children but it looks like the best idea there is. My high schoolers aren't the problem and they will be around for a little while, well one of them. I am ready to be an empty nester.
DeleteI should check into my school and see what kind of resources there are for me. I never really considered that but it is a good idea. Thank you for the good advice.
Blondie,
ReplyDeleteI am rooting for you as you eye the career and job market. It is not easy out there. Networking with people you know working in the field you choose is important. Classes are to be found that help as well as you head into the job market. Let us know how things go.
Meredith
Thanks Meredith for your support. I hope that there will be news to share on the job front. Math really has nothing to do with sociology so I wish that I didn't have to take those classes. Networking is a good idea.
DeleteHello Blondie!
ReplyDeleteYou just keep on keepin' on girlfriend. You've got this. Only three more math classes? Fantastic. I hate math too and I only survived by Eric's helping hand (get to work, Ty!) and using the tutor services at the University. That said, what is your major? Can you get an internship in the field while you finish the last three classes? Many times, an internship gets you in the door for the paid gig. As for your kids, once you are living your dream outside of the house, you will either be less bothered by what they do at home or you will kick them out because your limits will be reached and you will be large and in charge! :) Blondie, you are at that cross roads and all of the giving and loving you showered on others has made you an expert in life. Now it's time to take that expertise and make the world your oyster. Go dabble in what you enjoy! Stay close to the school to make sure you finish... I bet you could work in the writing center. Find some students who need help with their papers. Better yet, find some who are great at math. :)
Amy
I am just going to print out your comment and post it on my bathroom mirror to cheer me on especially on those days where I am having trouble getting out of bed because I can't handle everything going on. Thanks for being such a great cheerleader. When are we going to meet up?
DeleteFirst let me sincerely apologize. I was away at my Mom's and only had my phone. I painstakingly typed out this long ( it is me of course you know it is going to be long) comment, only it isn't here is it???? grrr. Anyway this time it isn't long.
ReplyDeleteFunny the longer we know each other the more I discover we are so similar. My last job before leaving the work force was in a bank as well ( only I hated it ). Kids...well 1/3 isn't bad for anticipating and doing right? LOL. 2/3 will definitely do what I ask...and the oldest...MOVE OUT ALREADY!!!!!! snort.
Anyway I have no advice for finding employment as I am still a stay at home mom with basically no kids at home. I really just wanted to say, I don't think you are a horrible Mother for thinking and saying what you feel. I think you are an HONEST Mom, who is brave enough to be transparent here about how you feel. As parents we don't know what life is going to give us or our children. We understand in theory that we are raising them for the world ( now please go out an LIVE in the world...oops I digress), and that it is a life long commitment, but let's face it sometimes we are tired. Sometimes a BIT of space makes us realize how great they are. Too much of anything isn't a great thing right? LOL!!!!
I wish you contentment at home, and best of luck with the job hunt.
willie
Thanks Willie! You and I are a mighty pair, more alike than different and we need to start chatting more often. I miss your laughter and your advice.
ReplyDeleteAww,I miss chatting and laughing with you too! Plus we have to get caught up with what all 8 of our collective kids are up Tolland our former blogger friends. Better set aside the better part of an afternoon !!!! Lol
DeleteIt sounds like you have received a lot of good advice. I am taking notes for the future...will be here in the blink of an eye I'm sure. I wish you good thoughts and hugs :-)
ReplyDelete