I have been broken and weak the last six months. Things are so big and bold that I can't find the words to even explain what I am saying.Ty and I are good, strong, and I believe that DD has made our marriage stronger so we were able to face the bad together, as a team. We were on our knees praying, I could not ask Ty to lift this burden from me because it was ours. If anyone ever questions if DD works, I will tell them that it really does. It may not be all that we thought it would be but it has far exceeded my expectations.
Right before Easter, my body broke from the stress. I am not one who usually is anxious - that's Ty's thing. Remember, I suffer from depression. But the stress finally broke me and I ended up in the emergency room.
Ty decided right then and there that enough was enough. I dropped my math class and he had a conversation with each of my kids, letting them know that things couldn't go on the way they were. His expectations were explained and he made sure that they do not do anything more to stress me out. As much as we love them all, they need to grow up and be responsible.
The kids are slowly taking responsibility for their actions. And I have had to not worry about them so much. The two younger boys are good, they act their ages and they are not the problem(s). Missy is my major heartbreak but the two older boys have not helped with all that either.Now that life is settling down, I will be around. Don't be surprised to see me commenting. I have so missed all of you.
Oh, as you know, I get this... I get this so much my heart(the part that hasn't been broken yet) breaks for you. Funny how our lives can be so similar at times. My heart is lightened though by knowing you are still able to see glimmers of wonderfulness among all that life has thrown at you. That is a huge testament to who you are and your commitment to each other.
ReplyDeleteI will confess that in these same 6 months our ttwd was tested as well as everything else. It came limping on through however, and life continues to show glimmers of greatness here too.
I am so happy to have you back 'here' my friend. I have missed you around here.
Smooooooooooooooooooooooooooch
willie
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DeleteYou are and you have been a super duper friend and I soooooooo appreciate you never giving up on me. Your messages to me always made me smile. And knowing that even with all the stuff you were going through, you still thought of me. We do well commiserating with each other. And Ty says that I smile when I am communicating with you. <3
DeleteGIANT HUGS to you, Blondie! :) We adore our kids, but sometimes their actions (or words) can hurt, and they are often not mature enough to really get that. I am glad that you have Ty there, stilling the waters for you after an event that led you to the ER. I am so so so glad to see you back here posting and commenting! You have been missed... a whole lot!
ReplyDeleteI am away with Rob for his work presently, and prior to that I was traveling with my youngest to help her decide on her college. I have not been around really. I had a few minutes today, to take a quick look around and saw your post. I wanted to welcome you back! I'll be back around soon! I really miss everyone too! Many hugs and lots of love and SO GLAD to hear from you,
<3 Katie
Katie,we haven't chatted in awhile. How awesome is that to be traveling with your husband. And the college drive must have been fun. I am glad that you were able to stop by and comment. I know how tough your past year has been. And I have always appreciated your support and your understanding regarding our daughters. Thanks
DeleteYou have been missed, and I am glad to hear that you are getting whole....There was major family drama here last year..with the kids, and mine are grown....they just don't always act it...so you are not alone. Welcome back...and be kind to yourself..
ReplyDeletehugs abby
So you do understand the drama. Selfishly, I am glad that I am not the only parent around who's kids cause drama. My boys, the ones that are in their 20's really need to grow up and be responsible. I have really missed being around here, I have especially missed my friends, like you. Hugs
DeleteBlondie, I'm happy you posted today. You have been in my thoughts - sometimes you don't know whether to intrude or back off. Thank goodness you have Ty. I hope your daughter is well, even if she is not physically close. Please keep in touch as you feel like and give Ty a hug from all of us.
ReplyDeleteThanks PK. Right now, my daughter is home living here. It's been a long journey with her and we are still in the middle of her drama. I do hope she takes advantage of some help that has been offered. I haven't been any good at communicating at all in the last six months. But just knowing that I am being thought of makes me smile. Thanks
DeleteWelcome back, Blondie! Sorry to hear you ended up in the ER but so happy Ty stepped up. Kids...can be your greatest joy and can also be your greatest sorrow. Mine are much older and I still want to smack them sometimes...actually gave my youngest son and DIL a paddle for Christmas as she really needs a barn burner. Of course, they thought it was a joke. If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. Meanwhile...sending lots of prayers and healing energy your way.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
That is funny, I can't believe you sent them a paddle. Maybe an epiphany will will occur and they will figure out the purpose of spankings. I have thought of you and wanted to message you but I couldn't figure out what to say. I knew you would have been someone to reach out to. Thanks for all of your prayers.
DeleteI'm so glad you're back. So glad you have Ty and that he has your back. Kids can do a lot more than they think. The thing is we have to get out of their way which is hard because you're the mom. Hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting. It's nice to have someone steady, like Ty, in my life. I look forward to the future where we will be like you and Ray. We are more than ready four our two older boys to be on their own. Missy needs some mental help and we are hoping that she will follow through on that. The younger two boys are just fine, acting their age and doing what they should be doing. Thanks for being a positive role model. And thanks for your hugs and prayers.
DeleteBlondie! You do so much for so many people. I hope through all of this, you see that you can reach out and find a lot of love and support to carry you through as well. We've all missed you here in blogland. Good for Ty - stepping up and making things as right as he can. Got your comment - we should!! Hugs and hugs and hugs to you. Amy
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy. Blogland is my safe place. Thus is where I feel lived and never judged. Through all the stress, I had to drop my math class,which really stunk. But I was struggling and stressing over it a lot. I never knew you were close by. That's pretty funny. It surprised me when you mentioned the place. Ty is a great husband and he is wonderful as being the HoH. Though I stink at being submissive, I do (try) to follow his lead and we are 51/49. Now on the flip side, he says that I am good at being submissive when I am in a scene but I am usually a bratty masochist. Lol. What can I say, even soccer moms have alter egos. Thanks for all the hugs.
DeleteHi Blondie, I am so sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you all. I hope that things pick up now, feel free to vent at us all. I am so glad you are back in Blogland
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
Thanks Jan! This is where I should have been all along. Being here in my small world of blogland is my very favorite place to be. I love that I can truthfully vent without judgement or repercussions. And then there are all of you who care unconditionally and usually have a similar experience. Thank you for being one if those friends.
DeleteHappy to see you back and sorry you to hear you have a hard time recently but so goo that Ty stepped up.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Much love and hugs Blondie,
Ronnie
xx
It is nice to be back. You and I (and many others)are lucky yo have great husband's. I love reading your stories about the two of you. It's nice to return to familiarity because I really need the known and not the unknown. Thanks for being a big part of my blogland, and thanks for being you.
DeleteWelcome back Blondie, you have been missed. I'm sorry you have been going through such a difficult time. I'm so glad you have Ty to help you through and that you are leaning on each other. It's great that the kids are taking more responsibility, I hope it continues.
ReplyDeleteSending huge (((hugs))) and hoping things settle and get better.
Hugs
Roz
Roz, thank you for all your kind words. Things are going to have to get better because I am done, finished letting life get me down. And being back here in blogland has already lifted my spirits. Thanks for your friendship.
DeleteGlad to know you're on the mend... I was worried.
ReplyDeleteTruthfully I was hiding because I had bailed on the cookie exchange. I figured if I was gone long enough that you would forget. Lol. I am grateful for your friendship and thanks for worrying about me.
DeleteBlondie sorry to hear you were in the ER because of your stress. Good to hear Ty had a talk to your children and hopefully things will be back on track now. Glad you are back in blogland.
ReplyDeleteSending positive healing vibes your way.
Hugs Lindy
I have truly missed my friends in blogland. I wonder if our community is unique. I so appreciate you and how you have always been so kind and supportive. Thanks
DeleteBlondie, it's good to see you back.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
Thanks Hermione. It feels like I have come home. I hope you realize how much you give to our community. When I came around and started reading blogs, it was comforting to read yours and to feel the familiarity. You were one of the original. Thanks
DeleteHi Blondie, it was lovely seeing a comment from you yesterday on my blog, and now a post too. I sorry things have been so stressful. I hope they've calmed down enough for you to find time for yourself and a little pampering.
ReplyDeletehugs
DF
You, my friend, will always hold a special place in my heart. There are few people I know who would have so willingly help me out when it was a great leap of faith. Things really hit bottom for my daughter about that time and she actually returned home shortly after she returned to school. Please know that I am here in the USA, whenever you want to come and visit. Thank you again.
DeleteBlondie,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about all that has happened, but really glad to see you are posting and commenting. We are here to listen and offer support.
Meredith
Thank you. I also happy to be able to return to all the love I get here. I have no clue why I disappear when this is where all the unconditional support is. Thank you for all you give to me and I am lucky to have you here.
DeleteIt's good to see you back, Blondie, sorry you've had such a bad time.
ReplyDeleteRosie xx
When I saw your name, commenting on my blog, I felt so lucky. I am fortunate that you didn't forget about me. Thank you for your support and friendship.
DeleteI'm also glad things seems to be better, Blonde. I missed you very much.
ReplyDeleteHan
Han, you commented. <3 Thank you. I have missed reading your blog and enjoying all of your variety of information and pictures. I will be by to visit you soon.
DeleteBlondie: You have been missed and so it is good to hear from you. Stress and Anxiety takes it's toll, mentally, physically and spiritually. It can truly break you down. I have just come through such a season and I understand first hand what can happen. Yes, DD certainly has it's place during those times and I am glad Ty was able to step in and help you. I look forward to hearing more from you as you start to feel much better.
ReplyDeleteYou put a smile on my face. The stress, anxiety, and hurt really did take it's toll. DD has really helped our marriage, something so simple as better communication, to following his lead, all the way to the spankings - both discipline and stress relief. It's so awesome to have a partner who will care for me even when he has the same worries. Thank you for your encouraging words of support
DeleteIt's heartbreaking reading this post because I understand. I wish I could hug you tight and we could let out all the stress/depression/anxiety/life. Over coffee or maybe wine lol. I'm glad Ty has been helping. I hope the kids get their act together. It's good to see you posting and I hope this means that things are on the right track.
ReplyDeleteI feel your hug and it really feels good. Thank you. Coffee sounds good. I would love to be able to really share what's going on and not have to worry about how others will think about me. I am just doing my best. Being back in blog land is a great way to get back on track. Thank you
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you. I have missed you
ReplyDeleteBlondie,
ReplyDeleteYou have been missed.... You have been thought of... I hope you start to feel strong again my friend!
XOXO Pearl
I've been thinking about you wondering how you are. I get where you are coming from. Now that my daughter is home the stress level has gone up. My mouth aches constantly from clenching. I'm glad your husband has put his foot down.
ReplyDelete